Soldier Page 4

  “We’d love to have you around. Do you need a place to stay? We have room, sort of. It’s not in good shape, but it’s a roof. So, I guess I’m asking if you want to throw your lot in with ours, as they say.” There was so much Dillon didn’t know about this man. Had he really just asked Soldier to move in with them? Was he crazy? He probably needed to run this by Daniel.

  “You would offer that to me, when you know so little about me?” Soldier said aloud the same thing Dillon had thought. “You’d let me move in with you and your boys?” Soldier had a sudden thought. “It is all boys, right?”

  “Oh, yes. All boys. Hey, Gom, I know you’re awake and listening to us. Not nice. Heads up, buddy,” Dillon said.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to listen. I just like being here. I never felt so... so...” he stopped suddenly, looking like he was in pain. Dillon figured out that Gom had realized that it sounded like he was saying that he felt better with Soldier than with Dillon and that evidently horrified him.

  “Oh, oh, Dill, I didn’t mean…” Tears gathered, and Dillon could tell he’d been right. Gom thought he had insulted Dillon by liking Soldier so much and being so easy with him.

  Soldier saved the day... again.

  “Gom. Chill, dude. Dillon knows you love him best. I just make a better bed. Dill is nice to curl up with, huh? And he takes care of you and he wanted you to be his special helper. Does he look upset?”

  Gom looked up with drenched eyes and, when he saw Dillon smiling at him, he launched himself into Dillon’s arms. Dillon hugged him and laughed.

  “Come on, now. No tears. I kind of liked using Soldier to sleep on, too. But I don’t think we need to tell the others about it.” Until Soldier told Dillon what he wanted, they’d keep it quiet. “I should go in soon. They’d all sleep all day if we let them, huh? We’re the early birds. What do you think we should say to Soldier?” Dillon asked the little boy.

  “I love you, Soldier. Please don’t go away. What if I need you again?” Gom stopped and thought a second, as if afraid he was asking too much. “I don’t have to sleep like that all the time. I won’t bother you again, but... well, would you like to stay with us?” Those eyes, hopeful and pleading.

  ***

  God, Soldier thought, go ahead and watch him melt. This kid could already get anything he wanted from him.

  “I’ll make sure the others don’t bother you. But... if you don’t want to... I won’t fuss... and I’ll try not to cry, you know, so you won’t feel bad. Promise.” Gom sounded so serious with his vow of trying not to cry. Soldier doubted if he could stick to it, though.

  Good Lord, this child got to him like no one ever before. Soldier had some thinking to do, and some serious shopping. More thinking. He looked at Gom.

  ”Will you do me a favor? I’d like to talk to Dillon a minute before he has to go in. Will you sneak back in and see if everyone is okay?. It would help us out a lot.”

  “Sure. Are you going to talk about... no, I know it is not my biz-niss. Right, Dill? I’ll go. Can I hug you in case I don’t see you again?”

  “Tell you what. You hug me, and I promise you’ll see me again. I won’t go away without seeing you again soon. Deal?” Soldier opened his arms for the boy to settle on him again. He felt the little arms go round his neck and he squeezed gently, careful of the little ribs he could feel too many of through the thin shirt.

  Gom put his face next to the scarred side of Soldier’s and moved his cheek up and down against him, obviously a caress.

  “You’re my secret, special friend. I’m glad I met you. I feel real good today. I won’t tell anybody, okay?”

  “For right now, that would be good. We’ll see about later. Go on in now, okay?” Hell, Soldier thought he might cry any minute. What was it about this child?

  “Okay. Dill, you want me to do anything for you?” What a little man.

  “No, hon. I’ll be in with you in a few minutes and we’ll start breakfast, and maybe the smell will bring them down. It’s fried bologna this morning. Scoot now.”

  Gom scooted and Dillon and Soldier were left in silence. Soldier didn’t know what to say. He felt like he’d entered another time and space, and he didn’t know how to act.

  ***

  Dillon knew what he wanted to happen. He wanted to get to know more about this man. He wanted Soldier to come in and let them take care of him a little. Dillon wanted to make Soldier feel like he was part of a group, not so alone. And of course, he wanted to see if Soldier really was that good a kisser, or if it was just that it had been so long. But all the things he wanted seemed selfish. What did Soldier want?

  “I need to take care of some things. I’ve been out of... contact with people for about the last two years.” He looked at Dillon. “But I don’t know how I feel right now. This has been a really strange experience. Not necessarily in a bad way.”

  “Can I say I hope you liked what we did... the kiss...?” Dillon blushed, but kept on with his list. “And I thank you again for what you did for Gom. That was amazing. I would like to get to know you better.”

  Dillon wanted Soldier to believe this part. “The scars are so unimportant to me. The only thing I care about is that you were so hurt. I’m sorry for that. As far as them making you less desirable... bullshit. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. But I’m used to not getting what I want, so don’t think you have to consider me in your plans... unless you want to, I mean. I’m going to keep going 'til I need that shovel, aren’t I?” He made quick little digging motions.

  “You’re cute.” Soldier looked surprised at himself. Dillon would bet that he’d never used the word cute before.

  “Yeah, that’s me. If you’re on the right side... or the left side, if you want to be literal.”

  “Uh... idiot.”

  “Hmmm?”

  “Well, if my scars, massive and ugly, mean nothing to you, why would you think yours, smaller and not so ugly as mine, would mean anything to me... except that you got hurt? Oh, and I’d like to get my hands on who did it.”

  “Really? They don’t bother you?”

  “Uh... idiot,” Soldier said.

  “You’re repeating yourself.”

  “If I have to.”

  “Okay. I get it. So, we agree that our scars don’t bother each other. But I get the feeling you’re leaving, and I don’t know when I’ll see you again. I’m just corny and romantic enough, believe it or not, to want to know if I’ll see you again.”

  “Didn’t I tell Gom I’d be back? He’s something else. I’ve never seen anyone like him. Besides, I’d come back just for another kiss,” Soldier said with a smile.

  Dillon smiled, too, as he said, “I could so go back for more of that. But I’m going to go in and take care of business just like always.” He was trying to gear himself up to saying goodbye to Soldier after discovering such an interest in him. “I’m just going to think about you, like, all the time and wonder when I’ll see you again and what it’ll be like and if we’ll get another chance to... kiss, or anything else.”

  “Anything... everything else sounds good to me. You’ll see me... probably before the week is out. I have some serious thinking to do. Plans to make that will include some decisions about what to do with my life from here on out. I’ve got people to contact. I suddenly feel so energized.” Soldier looked contemplative for a few moments, as if already making plans.

  “I’m hoping that's a good thing.” Dillon didn’t want to think Soldier felt forced into doing anything because of last night.

  “I’ve been in limbo for a long time. Bouncing around, alone, and feeling like life was hopeless. I’ve felt for too long like there was nothing in it for me. But, I thought... pretty much all night... and I might have something that I could do with my life that would make it worth something after all.”

  “I hope you find what you’re looking for. I think you’re worth so much. I’m going to go now before I need a shovel, a hoe, a rake, and a wheelbarrow.” Dillon bl
ushed.

  Soldier laughed and then stopped abruptly. Dillon knew why right away. It had probably been more than two years since the man had something to laugh about.

  Dillon smiled at him and couldn’t help it; he leaned over and took Soldier’s face in his hands and kissed his mouth, and then put his face to the rough scars and moved his cheek against them in a sweet caress.

  “That meant more to me than all the money stashed away, all the medals I’ve thrown away, all the words from all the people who’ve tried to help me before.” Soldier said. It was just enough to confuse Dillon.

  “Before I lose it completely and do jump your bones right here in the backyard...” Soldier took a quick kiss, set Dillon aside and promised, “I’ll be back.”

  Dillon went inside the house, refusing to turn and watch him leave. All day, all the next three days and nights, he kept saying to himself, “He’ll be back.”

  Chapter Four

  Soldier spent one whole day just thinking. He thought about the sexy, intriguing man he’d just met. Realizing that he could spend quite a long time thinking about Dillon, he made himself move on to planning for the future. The idea of doing something with the inhabitants of that big old house became the impetus for his day of .reflection and planning..

  Once he realized his life was going to change in a major way, he decided he was tired of being on the fringe of it. Both Gom and Dillon’s responses to his scars had shown him that, in the grand scheme of things, they weren't important. He'd stood in front of the mirror and looked at them objectively. For so long he’d felt isolated and freakish because of them and now after this response from one man and a little boy, he felt different about himself. Better, for sure.

  On the one hand, he’d gone through so many scenes where people responded in strong negative ways to them. On the other hand, he’d tried to tell himself that he didn’t care what others thought. His acceptance by both of these dear people reinforced his belief that the scars were just a part of him. Certainly they were nothing to be ashamed of, or to hide. If people couldn’t handle the scars, it was their problem, not his. By God, he had a life to live.

  Soldier was no longer in pain. He was not going to live like a victim any longer. He couldn’t believe he’d gone from a strong and confident soldier, brave and honorable, to a quiet, secretive, lonely and damaged, almost pathetic excuse for a man. The more he thought about it, the madder he got at himself. How could he have allowed himself to live like he’d done something wrong? He’d served his country, saved lives, and had come through the hell of recovery. The rest of his life could stand for something. Soldier became energized just thinking about the future. For the first time in a long time, he was attacking the future instead of just letting life happen to him.

  The second day, he contacted his attorney, James Kindall, to get information from him. The man sounded shocked to hear from him, no doubt because it had been so long since Soldier had instigated a conversation with him. He seemed even more surprised at some of the questions he heard from Soldier. The attorney hadn’t believed Soldier was serious. Soldier had assured James he was of sound mind.

  “You want to what?” James’s voice was incredulous.

  Soldier figured it did sound a little out there, and sudden. “I’m going to find out all the ways I can help Dillon and the boys he’s responsible for at the house. I can see you think I’ve lost my mind, but frankly, James, I think I’ve finally found it. I’ve been drifting through this life. Just thinking about all the ways they need help and all I can offer makes me feel strong, excited, and ready to take it on.”

  “Have you talked this over with this Dillon person?” James asked, ever the voice of reason.

  “Not about all of it. I told him I’d be back. If he doesn’t want anything to do with me, in particular, helping with them, then I’ll find a way to finance it. I will find ways to help, and I want your assistance in this in as many ways as we can come up with.” Soldier felt a twinge of fear that Dillon wouldn’t be as excited about all this as he was.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  Soldier grinned at James’ pessimistic attitude. “You just take care of all the things I’ve asked so far and be ready for more things as I encounter them. I know a lot of this has been vague, but until I have a better idea about how things are run over there, I have to be careful. I don’t want to cause a problem for them.” Soldier just knew he wanted to make things better. He had to find a way to do it without bringing Social Services down on their heads or scaring any of the boys away. Now he just had to get Dillon on board with the idea.

  “You’re the boss. I’ll get started on the things that are concrete and wait to hear more about the rest.”

  “Got that right. Thanks for helping, James. This is a good thing. I promise.” Soldier said, leaving James to start on his requests and heading across town to another office. He knew he’d have some explaining to do there, too. For someone who generally used very little of the money he had, he was getting ready to ask for an extremely large amount. It was his, after all. He had enough money to buy himself anything he wanted. He’d just never wanted all that much.

  Soldier had been a wealthy man before he went to war, last of a great banking family. He hadn’t spent what he'd earned in all the time he had served. The Army had paid for his hospitalization after the fire bomb had nearly obliterated his face, neck, and left shoulder. He’d endured months of pain, isolation, surgeries, and rehab.

  Through all of it, he hadn’t talked more than a few necessary words. He'd gotten a medical discharge, honorable, since he had managed to save three of his buddies before he fell. He remembered them coming to see him in the hospital, but they finally stopped when he didn’t respond to their gratitude. He now felt ashamed of that. He’d been so caught up his own pain, he hadn’t allowed them to voice their feelings. He should have, no matter how much it would have embarrassed him.

  Soldier’d been unable to connect with anyone since returning. He knew he had gotten a certain reputation for being cold and alone, but he couldn’t help it. It was like he’d been frozen inside. He didn’t hate people, and he wasn’t a danger to anyone. He just didn’t like to be around others, especially since he was covered with scars and was larger than most people. He was tired of being stared at, whispered about, and avoided. That little Gom had put an end to that in one meeting. Suddenly, Soldier wanted to meet and talk and share and touch and love. It was like he was waking up from a long nightmare.

  As he headed to his accountant’s office, dressed in a navy suit, vastly different from his comfy cammos, he thought about all that had transpired to bring him here.

  How did they live in the house, how come no one checked on them, and what were they doing? He wanted to know. Why? He owned the house. Hell, he owned the whole fuckin’ block.

  Soldier felt a little shiver as he thought about pretty Dillon again. Lord, he didn’t need to be thinking like that right now. Dillon was a delicious little thing, though. Soldier was anxious to see him again and see if these feelings were real.

  “You want how much, to do what? Man, uh, Soldier, are you okay? Are you sure you’re in your right mind?” Jason Compton asked, waving a hand at Soldier. Soldier allowed the man his humor and incredulity. After all, he’d expected it. This was a big change from the meager amounts he’d asked for in the past just to get by on in life. Jason was a friend, though they didn’t see each other often. Soldier’d noticed Jason’s hesitation at calling him Soldier, but the man would get used to it. It’s what Soldier was comfortable with now. Jason had been there for him through all he’d been through, in the background, where Soldier was more easy with him.

  “I want to go over my holdings here, get an idea about what I need to do to set these plans in motion. I’m going to present them as a done deal and hope that Dillon will accept what I’ve done and go along with it. I’m trusting you with all this information. I’m going to need your help with a lot of things in the future. I w
ant us on the same page.”

  “Are you sure about this? This is going to be a lot of money, and no end in sight if what all you told me is correct. You’re sure this is what you want to do with your life. You’ve never even acted like...” Jason trailed off as Soldier stood over him at the desk. Soldier wasn’t trying to intimidate Jason, he was just big enough to do it naturally.

  “I’m sure. I’ve got James working on the legalities of the transfers and the joint deals. You are to make it work with the accounts and setting up things as I’ve outlined here.” Soldier handed Jason a folder that had pages of notes he’d written the previous day.

  “I think you’ve really thought about this. I have to say, I’m totally shocked. But I can also say I’ve never seen you look so well, happy or excited. I’ll look at this and do as you wish. Let’s get to it and hammer out the details. This is all very strange. Tell me about the house again, and the boys there.”